ABSTRACT
This chapter focuses on bringing participants into genuine and authentic alignment and coaching the delivery of congruent messages. To create experiences of genuine and authentic communication, counselors must first recognize incongruence when it happens and establish the necessary norms and boundaries for establishing congruent communication in sessions. Without the presence of participants’ genuine and authentic selves, couple relationships cannot negotiate meaningful change. A counselor’s job is to recognize incongruence as a strategy for protection among couples and create an environment where authentic responses can be drawn out, and genuine reactions can be communicated. Participants in couples counseling, and counselors themselves, must begin to tease apart when incongruence is a wise protective factor and when to challenge incongruence to promote genuine and authentic connection. Genuine and authentic engagement is the starting point for understanding and connection. Establishing genuine and congruent communication is a cornerstone for trust in couple relationships.
