ABSTRACT
Rather than beginning with a general explanation, this chapter investigates a particular conflict, an actual marital quarrel taken from a larger study. Although unending family conflict may develop on any subject, some common topics in a marriage are household chores or fittings and decor, children, money, sex, and faithfulness or love. Between parents and young children, common quarrel topics are homework, grades and motivation, and household tasks. A crucial feature of protracted conflict is the intimate relationship between its two poles: quarrels and impasses. When the quarrel is over, both sides withdraw, licking their wounds. Silent impasses are the periods between quarrels. Although no anger is shown there is usually considerable tension "in the air" around the topic of dispute. Both parties seek to avoid the disputed topic, but they feel as if they are walking on eggshells.
