ABSTRACT
This chapter proposes that a viable explanation should deal with emotions. It suggests that emotional arousal leads to vengeful actions only if that arousal is denied. The most prevalent state may involve both kinds of alienation: engulfment within the group, isolation outside of it. Elias's usage concerns only intragroup relationships. Since the concept of bimodal alienation concerns both intra- and intergroup relationships, it is necessary to introduce an intergroup dimension, the "us-them balance". The chapter deals with communication tactics and alienation in family systems. Family members are alienated from their own conflicts to the extent that they are deceptive with each other and with self. Unacknowledged shame appears to be recursive; it feeds upon itself. To the extent that this is the case, it could be crucial in the causation of interminable conflict. If shame goes unacknowledged, it can loop back upon itself or co-occur with other emotions, such as grief, fear, or anger.
