ABSTRACT
After a major loss, many people experience feelings of guilt. This emotion can take the form of survivor guilt, such as “Why am I still here?” It also can result from a sense of responsibility, either real or imagined. Children, immersed in the delusions of grandeur that are common in early childhood, may believe that they could have saved the loved one. Because of their immature cognitive abilities, youngsters may feel personally responsible. For example, magical thinking may create the worry that thoughts alone can physically hurt others. This perception may create a sense of shame from the misguided belief that angry ideas caused a death. This chapter compares shame and guilt, as well as considers which reaction is likely to occur from grief at various developmental stages. Shame and guilt may be generated not only from the loss itself, but also from disrupted family connections and the changes in the immediate environment. Kids feel powerless and inadequate even in the best of circumstances, but their lack of true understanding after a loss can trigger shame and guilt. This chapter will explain how to recognize the telltale manifestations of these related psychological states.
