ABSTRACT
This chapter focuses on how personal characteristics and other characteristics play out during the course of an optimal sexual experience. For example, those who generally have the capacity to focus, center themselves and ignore distractions might find individual qualities particularly useful to draw upon while in the midst of sex. Clarifying and managing expectations was related to “unlearning” and “letting go” of outdated scripts and/or inaccurate and harmful myths about sexuality. This was true both in extraordinary lovers’ overall, day-to-day lives as well as during sexual encounters. Extraordinary lovers reported that optimal sexual experiences required them to be completely focused, committed and present in the moment. This level of embodiment involves both tuning in to the experience and tuning out internal and external distractions. Instead of avoiding situations that might cause fear and anxiety, extraordinary lovers embraced the feelings with openness and curiosity. Although their adventures did not always meet with success, such individuals used these as learning experiences.
