ABSTRACT
The contribution of consent to magnificent sex was, for most extraordinary lovers, an afterthought. They would often mention casually, “Oh, and of course it’s consensual”, thereby reflecting how obvious and fundamental it was to them. Optimal sexual experiences may require couples to revisit their respective assumptions about any unspoken contracts on a regular basis and flesh out the details of what they agree to sexually in order to avoid misunderstandings, boundary violations and hurt feelings. The role of eye contact as a sexual behaviour was often first mentioned when participants talked about eroticism. Extraordinary lovers talked about catching their partners’ eyes or holding a look a little longer than necessary. Building anticipation, prolonging the sexual encounter and engaging in sexual teasing could all enhance the eroticism of a sexual encounter and bring it to greater heights. Participants talked about feelings of anticipation during the sexual experience and described deliberately building their partners’ arousal for its own sake and stoking desire.
