ABSTRACT
Much of your decision-making in youth and middle-age may have been less than deliberate—an informal consideration of the ratio of costs and benefits, the trade-offs in any situation. Living well as you grow older means bringing more selectivity to making the choices that remain. Now that you have a data bank of information about yourself—your strengths, your vulnerabilities, your history with regard to making good and bad choices—you can bring it to bear on future decisions. Noting some of the dilemmas typically associated with advancing age, the author offers strategies for gaining control of them. But if you’ve always thrived on taking charge of as many aspects of your life as possible, this could be the time to experiment with letting go—releasing some of the tension involved in maintaining control. For some people in later life, letting go is an adventure, a learning experience in adapting to aging.
This chapter deals with one of the greatest challenges of growing older: making the decision to retire and implementing it. It’s not simple or easy and it deserves careful consideration. Sometimes there’s little choice involved, due to your health or the health of loved ones, economic realities, or employment policies. But if the decision to retire—or make any significant change in your working life—presents a dilemma, the author guides you through the process of resolving it. The first step is facing your feelings about the prospect of leaving a job and beginning to grieve the losses that may be involved. Bearing in mind that you have many years of experience in decision-making to draw upon, you can confront your doubts and fears. Once your ambivalence is resolved, closure is possible. The author suggests how best to mark the occasion of retirement, and describes likely scenarios for how you may feel in the weeks and months after departing from the workplace.
Whatever your status in regard to work, you’ll eventually need to think about the best use of your time and energy as you grow older. With a variety of examples, the author guides you in designing a practice—a pattern of behavior that is carried out time and time again, several times a week. A practice serves to give some structure to your life, allowing you to feel more stable or grounded in the flux of advancing age. On days that may be relatively unscripted or unscheduled, your practice serves as a buffer against waking up and having little or no sense of what to do next. The routine can be social or solitary, active or contemplative. But even a well-conceived and reliable practice may not satisfy your interests or your wish to make a difference in the world. A project—and you may pursue more than one—is more dynamic and goal-oriented. The author provides detailed guidance on choosing or developing a project that is consistent with your concerns and appropriate for your abilities as you grow older. Your practice and your project both serve as deliberate ways to organize your life, allocating your time and energy wisely.
