ABSTRACT

Intimacy and feeling secure are closely linked. A child’s first experiences with intimacy are in contact with parents and caregivers, the child’s first secure bases. The manner in which they deal with intimacy when in contact with each other and with the child plays a major role in the development of a healthy intimacy experience on a physical and an emotional level. Intimacy is about the longing to be touched on one’s boundaries; sexuality is about the longing to dissolve those boundaries. The agonizing pain, the grief, the longing for the person that is no longer there, seems such a different emotion to the longing for intimacy and sexuality. The working relationship between the counselor and the client is important practice material for this. Take unsafe or avoidant forms of attachment and unhealthy forms of parent-child relationships and bonds into consideration such as parentification and triangulation.