ABSTRACT
As feminists, we will participate in many challenging conversations about controversial issues—whether with loved ones, people who fundamentally disagree with us, or with allies who think they are “woke” but still have lots of learning to do. This chapter offers tools for effectively engaging in these hard conversations, particularly because people’s reactions to loaded issues are generally not about logic. No amount of reasoning or information will address embodied defense mechanisms to unsettling privilege or learned paradigms. The chapter offers strategies to engage difficult conversations, including taking the discussion to the meta-level and setting boundaries around the exchange. The chapter also explores when calling out is a necessary tactic and when calling in or calling up might be more productive.
