ABSTRACT
This chapter explores the nuances of language and tone in keeping the coaching conversation within the OK-OK box of communication styles available to both coach and coachee and being vigilant for language that might subtly imply a Parent-to-Child transaction and invite dependency or adaptation to please the coach. Keeping the model of ego states in mind can provide a useful guide to choosing language that implies shared responsibility and equal power in the coaching relationship. In a world of division and hegemony, coaching is the ideal relationship in which to model a different, respectful and empowering way of living and working in the twenty-first century. The metaphor of expanding the integrating Adult really captures what developmental work, especially coaching, is about. The coach invites the coachee to imagine what could be and, in strengthening the desired future outcome, lessens the power of the older, limiting script messages.
