ABSTRACT
Reading notes again, I feel exasperated by their futility, but I am at least ‘exasperated’ by them. They must therefore have something to them, or they could not exasperate. ‘Exasperated’ – feeling of anxiety of ‘theft’ analysis while leaving me open to accusations of plagiarism, etc. This is persecution by the feeling that one’s reward in analysis is not success or money or admiration; in short, that there are no rewards corresponding to one’s preconceptions. The exasperation is at the ‘note’; consciously, at what it contains. Interpretations occur to me, but for all I know I gave them at the time and I feel no more certain either way. Perhaps the point is that the note has a value, but I have no idea what. Or is it the paranoid-schizoid reaction that I have already described? Ps ⇌ D.
