ABSTRACT
This chapter concludes the book with reflections on my own experiences over the past decade, during fieldwork as well as in representing them in writing. Describing my personal struggles and difficulties in performing bai toward deities in the field, I discuss the distance between a present observer and a participant, especially my own upbringing bodily experience as a key determinant of my habitus. As long as bai in funerals sows the seeds for all Chinese religious practice, I argue that the Chinese sense of religion, the sense of religion as connections and communications between the yin and yang, would not fade away. Representing bodily experience in text and writing raises the challenge of textualizing knowledge and experiences that essentially defy textualization and a disembodied cognitive approach.
