ABSTRACT
We all have moments when we’re not proud of something we’ve done. A rare statement from your child like “I’m such an idiot” isn’t usually a cause for concern. However, some children get into a pattern of putting themselves down or have major episodes of self-criticism. When a child engages in harsh self-criticism, once she is calm, you can help her see all the great things about her, but in the heat of the moment, reassurance is unlikely to have the desired effect. Self-blame can also be a way to deal with negative feelings. It can feel better for children to blame themselves than to get blamed – at least there’s more control in it. Regardless of the fuel for the self-blame, our task is to help our children find a better way to express their negative feelings.
