ABSTRACT
When our kids are infants, we constantly have to guess what they need, and even then, it’s trial and error. The older and more complex their thoughts, feelings, and lives become, the more often we struggle to know exactly what’s going on. The truth is that children may also understand some aspects of culture, especially youth and school culture, that we simply do not. Preteens may start holding back more in their attempt to be independent. Part of this normal development may also include rejecting some of what parents think and believe. Yet when children yell “You just don’t get it,” they usually mean more specifically that we aren’t getting something important about their feelings, thoughts or experience.
