ABSTRACT
We saved the best for last! Over the years, some parents have shared with us that their child (or co-parent) initially responded to their efforts to implement these communication and support strategies with surprise, suspicion, and even full-on rejection. Others were worried about how to navigate such a response, making it so they were less likely to try out the approach. If the manner of relating to your loved ones outlined in this book is really different from your norm, you can probably bet someone in your family will react when you first try it out. Families tend to behave in predictable patterns; when someone breaks the mold, the reaction is to be expected and doesn’t mean what you’re doing is wrong or unhelpful. You can be guided by the ideas in this chapter regardless of how your loved one responds, and it can sometimes take more than one “round” of doing so for your loved one to settle. At first it can feel a bit like “whack-a-mole” where a new reaction pops up as soon as you validated the last one, except that with this version every player is a winner … eventually!
