ABSTRACT
Nondemand pleasuring is the foundation for sexual function. Pleasuring is a couple concept, the antithesis of the individual pass—fail performance model of sex. Pleasuring involves sensual and sexual touch with subjective arousal in the 1–5 range. The woman touches for herself rather than trying to second guess the touch he wants. In contrast to “foreplay,” where the woman is passive, pleasuring is an active process for both partners. There are two dimensions of nondemand pleasuring—sensual (non-genital) touch and playful (mixing genital and non-genital) touch. The key is to keep the demand out and accept pleasuring as valuable for itself. Pleasuring reinforces the variable, flexible, unpredictable approach to sexuality, while confronting the expectation that all sensual and sexual touch must lead to intercourse. Sensual and playful touch is an invaluable couple resource. Pleasuring can be a bridge to eroticism and intercourse, but its chief function is to share pleasure.
