ABSTRACT
Most women (and almost all men) believe “orgasm=satisfaction.” Although we are strong advocates for female orgasm, it is critical to understand that satisfaction is much more than orgasm. The essence of satisfaction is feeling good about being a sexual woman and energized and bonded as a sexual couple. Orgasm is an integral part of female sexuality but is more complex and individualistic than the stereotypical male orgasm during intercourse. For example, one in three orgasmic women are almost never orgasmic during intercourse. On average, women are orgasmic in 70% of couple experiences. If sex were just about orgasm, women (and men) would masturbate. By its nature couple sexuality is variable and flexible rather than totally routine and predictable. An empowering learning is that she can be more satisfied with the sexual experience even though he was orgasmic, and she wasn’t. A key to satisfaction is accepting her “orgasmic voice” rather than working to achieve the orgasmic performance goal of vaginal orgasm, simultaneous orgasm, multiple orgasms, G-spot orgasm, or whatever the new orgasmic fad is.
