ABSTRACT
S. Freud famously described the ability of psychoanalysis to change hysterical misery into common unhappiness and it can seem as if all he holds out is the promise of something drearily grim and grey. In fact, what Freud is speaking of is moving from that state of extremes: the addictive, exciting lure of triumph and having it all, even if offset by its alarming downside, being the lowest of the low, humiliated and despised. There is no perfect, pain-free alternative to reality. Excitement, self-belief and hope are a vital part of our determination and liveliness, but such excitement is less frantic when its counterpart is not worthlessness but being flawed, less than perfect, all too human. Even if analysts were an only child, with parents happy together, there is the pain of observing their happiness when some of the time they are on the outside.
