ABSTRACT
Here the conundrum is addressed of extremely intelligent individuals reporting recurring interpersonal difficulty but saying they cannot understand why this is happening. Excerpts are presented from Sonja Falck’s qualitative research interviews with high-IQ/gifted adults and these are analysed to demonstrate the psychodynamic concepts of transference and repetition compulsion and the systemic concept of valency. It is shown how an elucidating of these unconscious processes can help make sense of interpersonal dynamics particularly when these are experienced as baffling. It also evidences how extraordinarily enduring the effects can be of formative social experiences, and that even if the repeating patterns that these create are distressing, there can be a resistance to change. The reasons for this are explained, including Patrick Casement’s “pain of contrast”. It is highlighted that the rationale for becoming aware of these unconscious processes, challenging them and pushing through the pain barrier to make a change, is that one can thereby become liberated from the constrictions of dissatisfying old habits and patterns. It is explained that change requires also becoming aware of how systems tend to assign certain typical roles to those who manifest extreme intelligence, with the individuals involved playing out related behaviours and expectations.
