ABSTRACT
Bereavement and loss play a notable part in supervision not only because it is often a factor in a client’s story, but also because it is a part of life and therefore it can be relevant to any or all of the three parties involved. As soon as there is bereavement in the room, death is also there, and it reminds us that we all must die, and that all lives contain many losses. Each individual 172survivor finds unique solutions. I think of it like a kite in the air with a tail on which each bow is another loss. Some people’s kites have long tails. Some supervisees are private about their stories and do not wish to examine them much in supervision, yet these tails will influence their reactions to both personal and professional losses. This reveals a classic boundary between supervision and therapy, where the supervisor has to find a way to acknowledge difficulties, explore necessary issues in relation to clients without prying. My experience is that some supervisees may connect with their strong feelings when treated empathically. My underlying general belief is that personal growth and gain do occur through suffering, through heightened existential awareness. Bereavement is known to act as a catalyst, and to be one way in to awareness of underlying psychological issues and attachment patterns. Sharing a narrative of loss, with its associated constructs and feelings offers opportunities to understand and make sense of grief, and of life, and also to ease the loneliness of the experience. When these issues are triggered by the work, or by a major loss for the supervisor or the supervisee, supervision should attend to it.
