The couple, like the teenage individual, struggle to redefine their shared identity out of all that has gone before, and struggle with the new opportunities surrounding themStorming is to couple development what adolescence is to an individual’s development. Greta and Gavin couple had been cohabiting for nearly five years when they came to therapy. Norman and Natasha were both loves, believing the ideal partner to be one who would love them in exactly the way they wanted to be loved. Norman had no idea he was a bully and thought his social persona was just being “the life and soul of the party”. Therapist will have noted from these three examples that Virginia and Vera’s couple system was the container–contained variety. When Vera disturbed this balance by asking for new conditions, Virginia’s commitment withered. Vera started to show signs of jealousy, which she felt forced to suppress so as to avoid Virginia’s scorn.