ABSTRACT
To work successfully in couple therapy of the type, couples need the capacity to accept personal responsibility, the capacity to reflect on one’s emotions and motives, the capacity to hate, the capacity to recognize one’s anger, the capacity to mourn, and the capacity to tolerate not understanding anything. Indeed, as many couples become more insightful about the hidden aspects of their union, such correct assertions are hurled about as weapons. This is an abuse of therapeutic insight, but it is often irresistible when a person is hurting. The couple talk endlessly and animatedly about “our marriage” as if it is a “thing”; a naughty child they are having great difficulty in controlling. The therapist is a child guidance expert who is supposed to fix this “child” without either of the partners having to change anything about themselves as individuals.
