In partner selection, there is equal opportunity to take a good look at one another. When looking for a partner we may long for someone very different to us, just as in job seeking we may pursue something new and challenging. Regulations covering job applications may be irritating, but they do afford a degree of protection. In finding a mate, both parties at first feel obliged to keep their true feelings disguised or hidden, making the whole business even more risky. Thereupon the love feels deprived and hard done by, grows sulky and complaining. One might imagine an extreme lover collecting “orphans” as partners, and only being content when allowed to be the sole dispenser of care-giving. Malcolm had been a sickly child with a home tutor and a loving close relationship with his mum, who stayed at home to care for him, safe in the knowledge that her husband, a company director, would provide for them.