ABSTRACT
The problem with talking things over with family or friends is that usually they cannot offer unbiased responses. In their desire to show sympathy, they may well contribute to the problem by reassuring a person that their anger or anxieties are fully justified. One may not recognize what he may be contributing to the situation, or adjustments he could make in his thinking which would alter his perception of events. Or, in wanting to demonstrate their psychological skills, friends or family may well jump in with judgements based on their views or experience, argue with one's assumptions or offer simplistic solutions to the problem. They may be distracted by detail and pay more attention to the facts than the meaning they have for the person. Paul Simon in his song The Sound of Silence talks of “hearing without listening”, and in their eagerness to demonstrate their understanding, may well launch into an event of their own.
