ABSTRACT
Carers and children guide their talk and action according to their beliefs about who knows what and who is open to talking about what. This "context of knowing and telling" evolves in relation to the views that they hold about death, carers' ideas about children and about talking with children about dying, as well as the time, place, and relationships significant to knowing and telling. When one of the author started working with dying and bereaved children, the author's approach to a child's knowledge and understanding of death was informed by a small literature on children's concept of death, which in turn was informed by theories of developmental psychology. The identities of children and parents are interconnected with the expectation that the child will one day become an adult. For children this involves participation in relationships and institutions that mark them as children and confirm investment in their futures as preparation for maturity.
