ABSTRACT
When parents ask for help with talking to their children about death, the author usually respond to their request by first exploring the beliefs and stories about death in the family. Privileged stories about death and mourning commonly have evolved in relation to a timely or expected death—for example, the death of an elderly relative—and may jar with the experience of the death of a child. In the absence of one dominant story about death, people may draw on many traditions to construct their preferred stories to guide their meanings and actions. Coordinating the family's preferred stories involves reflection on the fit between their different ideas. Creating new narratives involves reflecting on the thesis and playing with the alter-theses towards the synthesis and emergence of a new story. The stories that we privilege evolve over time. They may be drawn from cultural, religious, or professional contexts and do not always fit with current personal circumstances.
