ABSTRACT
The wish to have a baby is often already present in childhood. The feelings of loss may be ameliorated, though not necessarily eliminated, by adopting a child or becoming a stepmother/father. Stepfather and especially stepmother carry such bad connotations that it is preferred to call them second mother or second father. While the birth parent is number one, never displaced or forgotten, someone else has taken on an important maternal or paternal role. Having a baby alters each partner's pattern of life, his and her sense of identity, and affects the relationship of the couple in major ways. There are some gay and some lesbian parents, many single mothers, divorced couples, second marriages, sometimes with both partners already having children, and other highly complicated family situations. Some difficulties in becoming a parent that led mothers and fathers to seek professional help are discussed.
