90“Will you listen, will you hear?” writes an alter. It is a crucial question. We all need some level of dissociation to survive the ups and downs of ordinary life. Taking account of extreme cumulative trauma in another or oneself requires an extra openness that can lead to secondary traumatisation if we do not have adequate filters and support. Not everyone can listen let alone hear. Clients tell us very clearly the difference between listening and hearing. Yet even to try to listen is sometimes an achievement. “You will only hear half of it and you won’t believe it,” said one woman with a mild intellectual disability (Morris, 1994) to her psychotherapist who clearly showed the highest level of emotional intelligence.