ABSTRACT
A homosexual man in psychoanalytic psychotherapy was reflecting upon his residual feelings of anxiety about revealing his sexual orientation. A man who had experienced repeated scorn and humiliation from his mother, involving physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, was frequently in danger of falling into states of severely toxic shame. Jealousy and shame are intimately entwined in the tragic interaction between Pedro and Natalie. She was defending against the threat of violation of her core self —a catastrophe involving ultimate exposure of her inner privacy and surrender to control by another. Pedro described his feelings and reactions at such times of discovery of her infidelities. He would experience a violent visceral response —pain in his stomach, his heart pounding, shivering and sweating —as his body was clearly flooded with adrenalin. Whilst for Natalie the lie had a positive function, of affirming privacy and autonomy, its negative aspect is often more apparent.
