ABSTRACT
Mainstream literature calls the second “moment” the Intermediate Phase. It starts after the leave-taking ceremonies have ended and day-to-day activities have resumed, lasting roughly three weeks to one year. For Freud, the task of this first year is hyper-investing, excessively harping on the bond, over-doing it. The Jewish tradition fine tunes the time. Jewish tradition encourages the mourner to stay at home. The keepsake is a precious memento. It keeps memories alive. The neglect of the keepsake by grief researchers highlights the a-relational and quick-fix character of its basic paradigm. The mourner is vulnerable to belittling, derogating, denigrating, and castigating self. The dictionary says lightly that a keepsake evokes memories. It is memory concretized, realized, and congealed. Operational definitions—if they ever have any significance beyond the theoretician in love with his theory—are useless in pinning down loneliness. Western thought since Plato is plagued with the primacy of substance and presence, unconcerned with and ignorant about “the nothing”.
