ABSTRACT
This chapter focuses on the blamer softening change event (BLS)—the second round of Steps 5–7 that are focused on the more pursuing partner softening and taking a new position in the relationship. It explores what therapists see and hears that indicates that partners are ready to begin Stage 2 BLS, as well as what they see and hear throughout the process that culminates in the softening event. BLS is like a second round of Stage 2. In Stage 2 withdrawer re-engagement, Kyle, the withdrawer, was the experiencing partner, while Tara, the more pursuing partner, was the observer and responder. In the second round, it is Tara, the more pursuing partner, who engages in emotional exploration of her attachment fears and expression of needs. For the corrective emotional experience to be created between partners there needs to be a felt sense of risk and an antidote response.
