ABSTRACT
Growing up involves a process of gradually being able to manage for ourselves what in the beginning we depended on others for. This process starts very early: for example, a mother might realise that her baby can be left for a few minutes when she settles her down for the night, even though she might get a little distressed. Many parents say that they wonder what happened to their 'nice' child who seems to have disappeared, ousted by the cuckoo's chick that is their belligerent and rejecting teenager. One patient described how when he had first noticed pubic hair on himself he was terrified and almost broke down with the pressure that something quite terrible was happening to him. The adolescent stage of growing up is characterised by fluctuating feelings of confidence and independence alternating rapidly with fears of overwhelming need. Wider social groups can provide a temporary alternative world.
