ABSTRACT
The majority of frustrations in the relationship are not related to the couple and their present life together. They concern the unresolved conflicts each of them carries along in their baggage from early childhood and adolescence. Usually, we cannot see this baggage ourselves. However, gradually, our partners become aware of the baggage, and, as time goes by, each partner begins to "trip over the other person's baggage". The influence of our baggage is such that we believe we are "right". The baggage that we carry with us from childhood into adult life can be explored and understood using the following constructs: our experiences of nurture; our strategies for survival; our attachment behaviour; our adaptation of the self; and the neurobiology of our brain.
