ABSTRACT
A review of a number of models of conversation from the areas of negotiation, conflict, couple therapy, and mindfulness show certain similar elements, as well as distinct points. A number of conditions and qualities that foster skilful conversations include mutual safety, purpose, respect, presence, curiosity, empathy, and appreciation. Further key factors include distinguishing intent and interpretation, and, naming underlying fears and needs. The Breakthrough Conversations approach draws on all of these useful approaches, bringing particular emphasis to the role of embodied awareness as a method for fostering self-regulation, for distinguishing body-brain states (RED-AMBER-GREEN), and for observing one’s own reactive tendencies in order to make more skilful, conscious choices. The Map of Breakthrough Conversations moves through five stages, each with an associated key capability. Stage 1 is Preparing the Ground and the key capability is motivation. Stage 2 is Managing Emotional States and the key capability is self-regulation. Stage 3 is Loosening Habit and Reactivity and the key capability is self-disclosure. Stage 4 is Seeing the Dance from the Balcony and the key capability is agility. Stage 5 is Harnessing Expanded Perspectives and the key capability is playfulness. Having considered an overview of the five stages of this map, the following chapters look at each of these stages in detail.
