The author works as a mediator and as a psychotherapist with many clients from the music industry and this study is concerned with the tensions within a band. The different values and aspirations are evident, as is the ways these cause disharmony and tension. Even the language styles of the disputants are very different. The reflections show the need to be able to ‘be with’ the different communication styles, showing the same level of patience with each disputant. The author introduces us to the work of Kramer & Yarm; Thomas; Groce & Dowel; Ferguson; Murnighan & Conlon; Colon & Jehn; Arts & Ashdown, all of whom have written on conflict between musicians.