ABSTRACT
Many of the most intense emotions arise during the formation, the maintenance, the disruption and the renewal of attachment relationships. The formation of a bond is described as falling in love, maintaining a bond as loving someone, and losing a partner as grieving over someone. This chapter explores the relationship between systemic theory, narrative theory and attachment theory in therapeutic work with distressed couples. Attachment theory has come to emphasise the survival value of attachment as a fundamental instinct to protect us from danger and to offer emotional safety, comfort and protection. Attachment is about caregiving, care seeking and care receiving, and affection, and in adult relationships it is also sexual. Emotional security and safety in our close relationships supports us in managing experiences of adversity and stress, and can even prevent the onset of trauma responses.
