ABSTRACT
At the end of life, loss and trauma come in many guises. There is the loss of connection with family, friends, work and society, but also a sense of loss of power, authority, strength, and control. Patients feel they have become an object and not a proper person; a passenger and not a driver. Helplessness and the deep solitude that comes with it can be very hard to bear. Death can become an escape from being a burden to oneself or having to inflict it on others. Real life stories reveal something of the shock of terminal illness and the infliction on a person of quite new feelings and experiences.
Being very ill and dying is not much fun; but when cared for appropriately, loved and understood, feelings can be put into a proper context. Hope may return; a positive view of the future, however potentially short, may be possible. Patient and family may find support in each other’s acceptance of their ordeal and deepen their relationship. People’s creativity, strengths and personal resources can shine through, and each day can be felt as a bonus to be used to the full.
