ABSTRACT

This chapter describes how the author came to be diagnosed as autistic. Autistic people were socially deficient, they were no good at communicating and had no imagination. In their description, Autistic UK point out the positive and negative effects of possessing autistic traits, rather than framing them solely and simplistically in the negative. It is easy to misunderstand autistic masking as the widely deployed social skill of getting along with others. As autistics strive to become the masked version of themselves, to embody the reality as it is seemingly ‘meant’ to be, they lose who they are. The chapter then focuses on the experiences of author from the unveiling of autism to doctor's visit and then in-depth interviews with a clinical psychologist. After the diagnosis, the author decided to remedy their childhood actions towards their mother.