ABSTRACT
Parents’ reactions to the birth of their baby are discussed in terms of parents’ reactivated childhood experiences. The origins of their falling-in-love responses or impulses to flee are linked to revived memories. Babies’ readiness to form attachments, the ubiquitous rupture and repair cycles in relationships, and the ways in which first smiles initiate parent-child experiences of emotional connectedness and lay a foundation for empathy are illustrated. Vignettes included are a story about a mother who had been separated from her own mother and her 5-month-old baby who did not make eye contact, and a consultation with a father who had experienced a rupture in his affectionate relationship with his 19-month-old daughter that was triggered by a rough-and-tumble game that had originated in response to his own childhood terror. Elements of rough-and-tumble play and tickling that are part of parent-child intimacy, promote development, and at times overwhelm children are discussed.
