ABSTRACT
Childhood memories are a fundamental part of mental life. Cherished and disturbing ghosts, the remnants of childhood relationships, reside in childhood memories and like dreams can be understood. Explicit and implicit memories are defined and examples are given. Parents’ childhood memories of loss and separation, and the ghosts that hover and influence parents’ interactions with their children until underlying meanings are discovered are discussed. Children’s play related to separation and loss is also described. A vignette is presented about a mother who is unconsciously enacting a pleasurable implicit memory with her 2-month-old baby in order to ward off painful feelings of grief. The enactment interferes with the baby’s alertness until the mother’s insight. Other stories include a father’s new understanding of a childhood memory that enabled him to help his 2-year-old son to adapt to separations; a consultation with the mother of a 2-and-a-half-year-old with uncontrollable night screaming related to the mother’s experiences of loss; and a vignette about a mother’s sibling rivalry that was reactivated when she was 8 months pregnant and her 3-year-old son refused to use the potty.
