ABSTRACT
The key role of the mother in her son’s developing gender identity, as well as the mother coupled with the father as her parenting partner, is explored in this chapter. The little boy’s ultimate need to differentiate himself from his mother along gender lines—she being the originary as well as primary caregiver, typically—opens a developmental path for him that is quite distinct from that of the little girl. I examine ways in which the mother, either as a couple member or as a single parent, can foster or hinder her son’s healthy gender identity development, depending especially upon her unconscious attitudes toward his maleness. After highlighting the clinical importance of the fundamental triad (the couple plus the child) evident in a parenting style that incorporates mother-and-father together, I present two clinical vignettes that illustrate the effects of a mother and father’s failed triangular functioning; the result in both cases was a collusive mother-son dyad with a particular impact on the son.
