ABSTRACT
Grandiosity arises from a need to avoid deflating self-perception at all costs. Even a reminder of what constitutes ‘loser’, ‘a failed actor’, or ‘wannabe’ triggers revulsion and contempt in the creative plagued by grandiosity. Grandiosity is a form of all-or-nothing thinking: I am either famous or a failure. I cannot live with being a failure, so it cannot be. I must be, am entitled to be, ‘famous’. The antidote to grandiosity is humility, which is not to be confused with humiliation, which is more related to shame. Shame involves a preoccupation with the self. Humility entails the ability to focus on what exists beyond the self. Humility is what allows us to accept feedback as feedback rather than condemnation. Receiving feedback in a healthy way involves considering the source, and a variety of feedback styles are explored, some of which reflect shame, as in the Critic, Wet Blanket, or Crab in a Barrell, and others grandiosity as in the Cheerleader. The ability to recognize a source of feedback as a Connoisseur is necessary for identifying truly constructive feedback. Connoisseurs nurture with their gaze because they are familiar with the process behind the development of the work being assessed.
