ABSTRACT
Given that conflict is an inevitable part of intimate relationships, this chapter describes how to assess a couple’s ability to resolve issues and manage conflict. The chapter begins by describing Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a sign that conflict is being poorly handled. Next, the importance of assessing for flooding is discussed, including a couple’s ability to effectively use timeouts when emotionally flooded. The chapter also describes factors that may contribute to individuals becoming emotionally dysregulated during conflict, putting them at risk for flooding. This is followed by a section on assessing for intimate partner violence or domestic violence. In addition to looking at risk factors for handling conflict poorly, the chapter also explores positive strategies that couples can use to protect the relationship from conflict. This is followed by a description of Gottman’s perpetual and resolvable problems. Given the importance of acceptance in managing perpetual problems, this section also examines factors that help create acceptance. Finally, the chapter emphasizes the critical importance of identifying and altering vicious cycles to successfully treat couples.
