ABSTRACT
It is good to consider the ways in which family members respond to stress and the impact of this on each person’s functioning. Coping with stress is a matter of risk and resilience. Risk factors are those things that make stress worse, while resilience factors are those things that make it easier to cope with stress. You might ask yourself the following questions when seeking treatment for your child and share the answers with your child’s therapist:
Was your pregnancy planned? If no, what was your and your partner’s reaction to the pregnancy?
How did the birth of this child change your life?
What do you most enjoy about your child?
What about your child’s behavior do you find most stressful?
What activity is most stressful for you with your child?
Every family has stress. How would someone be able to tell when you are under stress?
Everyone has ways of disagreeing or expressing anger. What do people in your family do when they are angry with one another?
Has your child ever seen or heard you and your partner argue or fight? What has the child seen or heard? During a fight, has there ever, even once, been throwing, pushing or hitting?
On a scale from one to ten, how patient are you with your child?
When you lose it with your child, what types of things do you do or say?
Do your children have the same sleep schedule as you or different? How do you handle that?
Write down your family schedule of waking up to bedtime—a typical day in your family life. What time of day is most stressful for you as a parent?
What do you do to relax and cope with stress?
Do you or your partner have trouble with chronic pain or illness? What do you do to cope with that? Do you take any medication?
How do your mood and behavior affect your child?
What worries you the most about your child?
If you could change one thing about your child, what would that be?
Is there anyone your child reminds you of?
What would your child say if asked how you (parent) act when you are drunk or high?
Pretend it is ten years from now. What would your child say if asked for his or her three best and three worst memories from childhood?
What would your child say if asked, “How do you want to grow up and be just like your (mom, dad)?” and “How do you want to be different than your mom/dad when you grow up?”
What do you most enjoy doing with your child? What does your child most enjoy doing with you?
What has been the adult use of alcohol or drugs over the past five years?
241Did you or your partner grow up with abuse or neglect?
Did you or your partner witness intimate partner violence (IPV) as a child?
