ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author argues that sorrow is the healthy emotion alternative to hurt. When a person experiences sorrow as a healthy alternative to hurt, they make the same inferences as they do when they experience hurt. When a person feels sorrow in the ego domain, they accept them self unconditionally when they are treated in an undeserved way by a significant other. By contrast, when a person feels sorrow in the non-ego domain, they unconditionally accept the world but really don’t like it when they are treated in such an unfair way. A person experiences sorrow about being treated badly by those close to them when they consider that they do not deserve such treatment rather than when they think that they do deserve such treatment and crucially when they hold sorrow-based flexible/non-extreme attitudes. When a person holds sorrow-based flexible/non-extreme attitudes, they will tend to act in certain ways.
