ABSTRACT

There is plenty of evidence supporting the positive influence of reasoning and listening parenting. But being reasoning and listening alone is not enough. The Tiger Mum phenomenon derives from the principle of ‘guan’ or training that emphasizes the importance of obedience and self-discipline. Hence, the outcome for the parent is to develop these attributes. Recall the Confucian virtues: loyalty, family piety, righteousness, benevolence, affection, trustworthiness, harmony, and peace. John Medina advocates three basic rules for teaching these ‘reasonable and listening’ skills: clear and consistent rules, rules that are explained, and swift negative reinforcement. Developing a child’s self-determination requires a gradual release of responsibility for learning to the child from the parent and there are deliberate skills in this gradual release. Problem-focused coping is directed at the stressor itself: taking steps to remove or to evade it or to diminish its impact if it cannot be evaded.