ABSTRACT
Jesus recognized with authentic realism that anyone who permits another to determine the quality of his inner life gives into the hands of the other the keys to his destiny. Self-differentiation is the ability to separate and clearly see each element of what Bowen called the “inner guidance system.” It is an EQ skill because, in moments of high emotional intensity, it is easy to have these elements “fuse” and cause confusion. Without early attachment, humans, and our closest relatives in the natural world, mammals, wither and die. The emotional field also involves fusion of the past with the present. Emotional intensity is a clue that the brain is being reminded of past experiences. Self-differentiation is about being ourselves in relationship to others. A high EQ aspiration is to decrease the amount of reactivity and to de-escalate faster when reactivity happens.
