ABSTRACT
Feelings of rejection – an experience that spares no one. This chapter will discuss what is concealed behind the prevalent experience of rejection. Or: how being rejected is being set free without asking for it. Unconsciously, people may have reasons to stage themselves as rejected; It functions as a device to achieve separation without awareness of choosing it. Instead of choosing to quit their job, it’s easier to get themselves fired. There are situations where belonging may feel worse than being sent away. We will discuss the combination of belonging (and therefore being important) and being humiliated (and therefore unimportant) – the masochistic combination. The deeper reason for the need to be rejected is to not belong, because belonging means, for many of us, losing our sense of subjectivity. The solution: Being important as an object, and knowing we have chosen this position as subjects.
