ABSTRACT
The bond that ties a mother to her child can take on a tone or a tension that adversely affects their relationship; it can also break. Yet, however absolute the estrangement, at some level, a bond still holds mother and child, adding to the pain. Tragically for many mothers and their children, while it takes only one person to break a bond, it needs both mother and child to mend it. The pain of estrangement can be numb, it can feel angry and violent, despairing and powerless, guilt- or shame-ridden. Sometimes, the cause of the break remains significant, sometimes it is objectively trivial, though not experienced as such, often it is long forgotten. For pride, resentment, hurt, guilt, shame, and anger can get in the way of reconciliation, even where love is present, sadly even in extremis. And more often than not, beneath it all, lie the sense of not feeling recognized and/or the fear of rejection.
Based around a number of vignettes, this chapter looks at mother and adult child relationships that have broken down irretrievably, or risk doing so. It also depicts instances of severe cruelty in mothers.
