ABSTRACT
The stories in this chapter are seen from the perspective of the adult client speaking of something that feels, or felt, amiss in their relationship to their mother. The author’s aim here is not to judge and blame but to highlight the impact on the child of these difficult early relationships. This goes hand in hand with a focus on boundary-setting.
How well a family survives violent and tragic events is not a matter of ‘strength’ and ‘weakness’. More important are the ways in which the trauma is dealt with and spoken of at the time, the meaning and place given to it by the person(s) concerned and by the family as a whole, and family dynamics. Three vignettes illustrate three very different stories of traumatic loss and mother–child relationships.
